After the Caregiving is Over (It Ain't Over Yet)

Since my husband passed away, I've been going through some trials and tribulations. I've been having to look for work and in this economy this is really tough. Finding work in my field is tricky enough as is. I've also been having fun with the bank, worried about losing my home, having appliances break down around me, working as executrix for the husband  and trying to get onto welfare so I can survive until I get that elusive job.(This is why I've not been posting). Of course there is more going on but I'm doing all of this while I am still grieving. I will admit that I am starting to feel a bit better. Finally, I am able to keep a thought in my head longer that 5 minutes (not that I was any better before but it feels like it). My home is still a disaster area but now I have an idea of what a pile of papers has and what in it.

I just want to give you some of my opinions, in no particular order, as to how to help yourself after your loved one passes away (hopefully not for a long time).

1. If needed, you can always ask your pharmacy and your cable/phone/cell/satellite provider for copies of your past bills etc. on paper by snail mail. It may cost you some money on your next bill but then you have them, usually in order, and everything. Also always good for tax season.
2. Always ask for an expert opinion on anything you think is valuable. Also ask for more than one opinion. Shop around. The first price you're given may not be the best price you'd get. For example, I have an Inuit sculpture that weighs about 40 lb that my husband won as the first Canadian to win in the British TV game show Mastermind. I went to an auction house and they informed me that it could reach $700 CA at auction.(This is my first price) Now I'm not gonna sell, but just that one price tells me what it could be worth. If I ever decide to sell, I'm going to try to find a dealer who knows what it is truly worth and give me a decent price (I'm not going to sell).
3. Take time for your self. In my opinion this is the most important one. You have been caregiving for a while and after the caregiving is over you have to figure out who you are! You have been wrapped up in medications, nursing, etc., etc., etc..I talked to a lady who was the receptionist at my local welfare office and even one year later after her husband's death (which was sudden) she still has problems with "widow's brain"! You have been taking care of others and you're gonna feel lost (I know). Take the time you need, get help you need, be as tough as you are and pamper yourself! (a friend is taking me to the movies....I haven't been to the movies for almost 18 years!) Enjoy yourself and possibly find a group that understands and goes for coffee or whatever ( I'll admit that I haven't gone yet)  but an excellent site is meetup.com they have all sorts of meetings all around the world.
4. Help is out there. Whether it be family, friends, an accountant, lawyer, minister, chat group, website, family doctor or psychiatrist there is always someone to help. 
5. Try not to use alcohol too much. This may sound like a no-brainer but sometimes it feels good to get drunk after a death (I'm of Irish descent and like a good wake and also for me it's too easy). The problem is not so much that you are drinking, it's how it affects what and how you are doing. If you're drinking and can't get up in the morning, take a look at yourself and ask yourself why you drank that much the night before...I'd bet it's about the pain in your heart and that you wanted to forget and sleep because otherwise you couldn't.(been there, done that, doesn't work).
6. Ask, ask, ask. This is my second most important point.(mind you, it could be the most important also see number one) If you never ask you never know. Today I've been worried about my mortgage and condo fees. I called my mortgage broker and talked to the condo office and they were very accommodating. Once I get the money to pay them I have to let them know but, if I had not, then I could have been facing lot of trouble and extra fees of up to $300 CA. The trick is if you know a bill/automatic withdrawal/prepaid is coming up, give them a call and at least 1 business week beforehand (5 days, no weekends) to help you.

Hoped this helped,

Jerith

Are Family Caregivers Invisible? Caregivers and the Workforce

Sorry about this being a link-to-a-link but Are Family Caregivers Invisible?  is a great article link on being a caregiver in the workforce. 

Having been a caregiver to three people at one time at the same time, I had to choose to be an unpaid, unsupported caregiver instead of working (Just in remembering that time I feel like crying). I have even left many a job over time because of those duties, the stress making me ill and lack of understanding from my employers. Now, in trying to get back into the workforce again, I'm worried that no one will hire me because of my caregiving duties for my husband and my friend and my employment history. 

I'm a firm believer that corporate culture and the government needs to change to make it easier to be a caregiver particularly if you are precariously employed by not having enough hours to qualify for EI benefits, having contract work, self-employed , or are unemployed or on welfare/disability.

When the Tax Man Cometh

Some Tax and Other Benefits You May Not Have Known About

Being a caregiver or having a disability can be expensive so getting a break on your taxes can be a real boon. Since tax time is almost upon us I figured I'd look into what tax and other benefits my husband and I might be eligible for. Here's a list of some tax and other benefits that you may not have known about and click on the links for more information. Now, I'm not a financial or tax professional so be sure to speak to your advisor to see what else you or your loved one may be eligible for.

Employment Insurance Compassionate Care Benefits. This is for people who have to take time off from work to provide care or support to a family member who is gravely ill with a significant risk of death. You may also be eligible if you are self-employed. You can find more information at 
http://www.servicecanada.gc.ca/eng/sc/ei/benefits/compassionate.shtml.

Caregivers and Tax  This site summarizes four key tax credits that you may be eligible for such as  the Amount for an eligible dependant, Amount for infirm dependants age 18 or older,  Caregiver amount and  Family Caregiver Amount.

Healthy Homes Renovation Tax Credit  This is a permanent, refundable personal income tax credit for seniors and family members who live with them to help with the costs of improving safety and accessibility in the home. You basically get 15 % back on claims up to $10,000 worth of eligible renovations on your taxes.

Ontario Senior Homeowners Property Tax Grant Gives you up to $500 to help with your property taxes.

Here in Ontario there is the Trillium Drug Program which helps with high prescription drug costs  relative to household income.

Disability Tax Credit. People with one of nine long-term disabilities can collect as much as $1,100.00 a year - more if they seek retroactive credits. Anyone who has problems with seeing; speaking, hearing, walking, bowel or bladder functions, feeding, dressing or performing mental functions necessary for everyday life may be eligible for the credit. Search for form T2201.

Children's Activity Tax Credit If you are paying fees for classes or activities for your children you can claim up to $526 in eligible expenses and get up to $52.60 back for each child under 16 for 2012. You can receive up to $105.20 back for a child with a disability who is under 18.

If you are temporarily looking after a child who is in financial need and you are not the legal guardian you may be able get money to care for them though the Temporary Care Assistance Program.

This list is by no means comprehensive so check out your Provincial Government and the Federal Government's web sites for more benefits and tax credits that you may be eligible for and talk to your tax or financial advisor.