Saying "No"

As caregivers, we have great caring hearts and, at least for me, difficulty saying no to people who ask us for something. This can be from our family, friends or at work. Saying "no" is sometimes the best thing that you can do for yourself and for the other person. 

When I was caring for Mom, I got a phone call from my disabled friend for whom I have Power of Attorney and he wanted me to help save him from eviction. I was also having to care for my husband who was at our home. There was just no way that I could help him and although it broke my heart I had to say No. He ended up going into a shelter and from there into long term care which turned out to be the best for him. So never feel guilty for saying no - it can be good for you by lessening your stress and for the other person by having them solve the problem themselves or ending up in a better situation. 

Here are some helpful phrases for saying "No" that can help you feel less guilty and not leave the other person feeling disrespected.

Original Image: Julie Hanks

How I Used Pinterest as a Caregiver

Pinterest is one of those sites that I find to be addictive to me. I can spend hours and hours looking at the site and pinning and repinning stuff.  Pinterest is a free site to join and it is basically a place where you can put links to stuff that you're interested in instead of creating tonnes of bookmarks, printing out stuff or clipping out magazine articles. It's kind of like a electronic corkboard for your ideas. 

Picture: posterize/freedigitalphotos.net

There are pages/categories (boards) there for caregiving (for caregiving and other specific things you have to enter it into the search bar) women's fashion, food and drink, fitness, home decor, quotes and much much more. I've been keeping all of my pins on one board but you can set up different categories for whatever interests you  for example, "my style" or "dinner ideas" or however you want to title your boards. 

As a caregiver I was using (and still use) Pinterest to find slow cooker, snack and freezer recipes, fangirl stuff (I love Doctor Who!), inspirational quotes, organizational tips, homemade cleaning and beauty products and ideas on fashion as I couldn't get out to buy new clothes. I was doing this because I was running out of ideas on what to cook for my husband and I and I was also beginning to suffer from caregiver burnout (although I didn't know it).

I was getting so fatigued that I started on Pinterest by looking to make mealtimes easier for me. I liked the fact that in the food and drink category you can find foods that are vegetarian, gluten free, paleo diet, "skinny" foods, slow cooker recipes, snack ideas, freezer meals and more. I'm all for making my life easier, especially when I'm tired and don't want to think about cooking, which is why I like all the slow cooker recipes and  freezer meal ideas such as the recipe I tweaked for slow cooker "roast" chicken. In fact, I still look in this category for meal ideas when I have no idea what to eat.

I continued to browse and found ideas on how to organize the fridge so that my husband could easily find something to eat when I wasn't there or I was asleep. I also found ideas that helped me tidy and decorate so that the husband was comfortable and our home looked nice (well, most of the time). The Women's fashion category helped me figure out what I had in my closet and how to organize it so I could find nice outfits to wear. Looking at the quotes kept me inspired so I could keep on going.

All in all I've found Pinterest to be a great inspirational site and very useful but I must say very addictive to me.

How do you use Pinterest as a caregiver?

Quick Tip: New Year's Resolutions

The New Year has begun and you've made your resolutions but how do you keep them? The easiest way is to remember that any habit takes 28 days to become ingrained. It is also important to break down any goal into smaller steps. 

Image from Pinterest

If, for example, your New Year's resolution is to get into a sexy bathing suit by the summer, you could start with improving your diet first for the first month, then work on exercise for the second month and relaxation for the third month. You can also further break down each

month into goals such as working on menu planning or increasing fiber in your diet for the first month, start exercising 10 minutes a day and increasing that time by 5 minutes each week for the second month and start meditating for 5 minutes a day, increasing that time by 5 minutes a week for the third month and so on. However you want to achieve your goal and break it up is up to you but just begin with one small change for 28 days.

No matter your resolution, just take it one day at a time and you will reach your goals!

Finding My Happiness in the Little Things

Well, I've been having a crazy week (and not just from caregiving) which is why I've not posted in awhile. So far I've cleaned the bathroom literally from top to bottom (and discovered that I may have to gut it to fix some problems I thought were minor), flipped my mattress (no more back ache for now), talked to the husband's specialist and adjusted his meds (actually a two week process), and have been helping a friend who is a hoarder clear out a storage space on a deadline.

Some of the highlights of this crazy week that have made me happy have been discovering a recipe for slow cooker roast chicken that's just amazing (I'll be doing it again with a few more tweaks), finding out that the reason the hubby was feeling so crappy was because he was dehydrated (thus the adjustment in his meds) and him getting his appetite back,  finding low sodium tortillas, and watching my and my husband's favorite movie (The Princess Bride). 

I'd guess you could say that although it's been crazy around here (and will be for the next week or so), it's been the little things that have been helping me keep from feeling overwhelmed all the time and that in keeping them in mind I see that what I'm doing is worthwhile. I realize that my little things are not for everyone (who'd have thought that finding low sodium tortillas would make me happy?) but it's in finally fully realizing that they exist in my day-to-day life that's been the eye opener. I've heard all the cliches before about "looking on the bright side", "it's the small things that matter" and "every cloud has a silver lining" but it was in finding them that had always been the problem for me. Now that I've figured out what some of my small things are I'm going to keep looking for them in my life and try to keep my perspective that my small things matter. 


As one of my small things was the recipe for slow cooker roast chicken that I served with a salad, I figured that I'd share it and perhaps it will become one of yours. 

My Recipe for Slow Cooker "Roast" Chicken

1 Tbsp Club House NSA Steak Spice

1 Tbsp Mrs Dash Garlic and Herb blend

1/8 tsp S&B Nanami Togarashi (assorted chili pepper) {optional}

1 Medium Onion 

1 Small Whole Chicken (about 2-3 lb.)

Take the first three ingredients and mix in a small bowl. Set aside.

Slice the onion into half moon shapes and place into the bottom of the slow cooker.

Rinse the chicken inside and out and pat dry. Rub the spice mix inside and out of the chicken and place in the slow cooker on top of the onions. Cover and cook on Low for about 7 hours.

Makes about 4 servings.

Notes: Be careful in taking the chicken out of the slow cooker as it will be falling off the bones.  

Don't worry about not adding any liquid as this will make it's own juices.

I have a four quart slow cooker and my chicken fit the slow cooker perfectly so I'm not sure how this will work with the same size chicken in a larger cooker.

I found that the skin didn't get that crisp but it wasn't bad (ie. soggy) and also that there was a fair bit of juice in the bottom of the cooker after the chicken was done. I didn't use the juice that night but I'd bet that it would make a great gravy. 

With the leftovers I've made quesadillas (with the low sodium tortillas) and chicken salad sandwiches. Today I'll be making chicken soup with what's left and the juices.  

Quick Tip

Complements of : Stewart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net

If you are anything like me you have a to do list about a mile long. To keep from freaking out, try to keep today's to do list down to about 5 things. By keeping today's list small, it is easier to do and you know that you are accomplishing something rather than feeling overwhelmed.

Are Family Caregivers Invisible? Caregivers and the Workforce

Sorry about this being a link-to-a-link but Are Family Caregivers Invisible?  is a great article link on being a caregiver in the workforce. 

Having been a caregiver to three people at one time at the same time, I had to choose to be an unpaid, unsupported caregiver instead of working (Just in remembering that time I feel like crying). I have even left many a job over time because of those duties, the stress making me ill and lack of understanding from my employers. Now, in trying to get back into the workforce again, I'm worried that no one will hire me because of my caregiving duties for my husband and my friend and my employment history. 

I'm a firm believer that corporate culture and the government needs to change to make it easier to be a caregiver particularly if you are precariously employed by not having enough hours to qualify for EI benefits, having contract work, self-employed , or are unemployed or on welfare/disability.