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Dry Shampoo: Tips and a Review

Use a dry shampoo to keep your loved one's hair looking clean between washes if they have difficulty getting in and out of the shower or are bedridden. They are easy to use and usually come as a spray or a powder and nowadays you can find them easily in the drugstore. Just spray the product in the hair, wait about 2 minutes for the product to absorb the oils from the scalp and brush out. If you are in a pinch, you can use baby powder or cornstarch as a dry shampoo. To use either of these I recommend using an old (but clean) blush or shaving brush to apply either the cornstarch or baby powder to the roots of the hair so you don't end up with a big chalky mess in the hair. Wait the 2 minutes then brush out.

I've personally tried the cornstarch, baby powder and Klorane oil absorbing  and gentle oat dry shampoo for myself ever since I got hair extensions put in, hurt my shoulder and wasn't able to wash my hair regularly. Out of the three methods, I have to recommend the dry shampoo first, cornstarch second and baby powder last.

With the Klorane dry shampoos (both aerosols and that I bought myself), I found that the oil absorbing one worked best for me as I have very baby-fine and oily hair. It was dead easy to use, smelled nice, absorbed oils really well and added texture and thickness to my hair. With the gentle oat dry shampoo, it was also easy to use, smelled nice and absorbed oils but left my hair a bit limp. I believe that the gentle shampoo would work best for people with normal to dry hair. Neither of these dry shampoos left much of a white residue in my hair.

Using the cornstarch, I put some on a small plate, applied it with a blush brush to my roots, waited and brushed it out.  It worked pretty well in absorbing the oils from my hair but I found that it left a bit of a white residue in my hair that was a little tricky to brush out.  I used the same technique with the baby powder but I found that it left more stuff behind in my hair but it did smell OK. 

Using both the baby powder and cornstarch was also the messiest method I used as it left powder all over my clothes (not nice on black clothes) and floor whereas the spray dry shampoo was the neatest.

In terms of cost, I'll admit that the Klorane was a bit pricy ($14 CAD not including taxes) and the cornstarch and baby powder the least expensive (about $2 for the cornstarch and $1 ( from the dollar store) for the baby powder) but for its ease of use I think the Klorane was worth it. 

I wish I had remembered about dry shampoos while I was caring for my mom and husband. It would have made their lives a little easier as well as my own.

Looking After Yourself and Looking Good : Part 1

Spoiling yourself may seem like something selfish but at times it can be your best retreat from the stresses in your life. 

Some of the things that I have done for myself to deal with stress have included taking aromatherapy baths and showers, meditating, yoga, making my own face scrubs and trying out new nail polish designs. I will admit that sometimes doing things like my nails has not worked out (adjusting someone in bed with slightly wet nails sucks) but sometimes these little things have made me feel better.

There is a saying "dress for the job you want, not the job you have" and I feel this phrase works well for caregivers. The reason for this is that although you may be overwhelmed with the changes in your life, how you look can change your opinion of yourself. You can be stressed out but, if you look half decent, I have found that you look at life from a brighter side and can do a better job no matter what you do.

When I'm stressed out I have found that my face breaks out with zits way more. I have tried prescription  Retinol creams, things like Clearasil and pine tar soaps. Of course the zits affect the way I feel about myself - the more zits the worse I feel. One thing I have found to work for me is called oil cleansing. What you do is moisten your face with warm water, apply a little coconut oil and wipe off with a damp washcloth - it's kinda like using Pond's Cold Cream. I also make  a face scrub using coconut oil and baking soda with some essential oils to help my skin. Since I have been doing this, my breakouts are smaller and easier to hide with a tiny bit of makeup. ( I believe I have seborrhetic dermatitis although this has not been proven )  I will admit that this has worked for me and even other people have noticed how much my face has improved.

In doing my nails, I found that taking a couple of days to do them can help with the problem of a botched manicure. Personally, I'd rather wait and get my nail design right rather than do it all at once. I'd rather take a day or so to do a couple of layers of polish rather than have my Mani ruined. Doing a layer at at a time can be a problem ( I hate it when nail polish chips) but you're less likely to have a problem in the long run especially if you have to adjust your care partner.

Makeup may seem like something to be avoided but, I have found that if you at least do your eye make up, you feel better about yourself and don't feel so tired. That and a bit of lip-gloss and you're ready to go.

Dressing "up" may seem silly, but I've found that if you dress in your grungy clothes, you feel grungy. Now if this is a look that you're going for, by all means have at it. Dressing nice means that you feel nice. This is not to say that you can't wear sweats, just make them look amazing (think Lulu Lemon or Nike ads).


More Later.....

Saying "No"

As caregivers, we have great caring hearts and, at least for me, difficulty saying no to people who ask us for something. This can be from our family, friends or at work. Saying "no" is sometimes the best thing that you can do for yourself and for the other person. 

When I was caring for Mom, I got a phone call from my disabled friend for whom I have Power of Attorney and he wanted me to help save him from eviction. I was also having to care for my husband who was at our home. There was just no way that I could help him and although it broke my heart I had to say No. He ended up going into a shelter and from there into long term care which turned out to be the best for him. So never feel guilty for saying no - it can be good for you by lessening your stress and for the other person by having them solve the problem themselves or ending up in a better situation. 

Here are some helpful phrases for saying "No" that can help you feel less guilty and not leave the other person feeling disrespected.

Original Image: Julie Hanks

How I Used Pinterest as a Caregiver

Pinterest is one of those sites that I find to be addictive to me. I can spend hours and hours looking at the site and pinning and repinning stuff.  Pinterest is a free site to join and it is basically a place where you can put links to stuff that you're interested in instead of creating tonnes of bookmarks, printing out stuff or clipping out magazine articles. It's kind of like a electronic corkboard for your ideas. 

Picture: posterize/freedigitalphotos.net

There are pages/categories (boards) there for caregiving (for caregiving and other specific things you have to enter it into the search bar) women's fashion, food and drink, fitness, home decor, quotes and much much more. I've been keeping all of my pins on one board but you can set up different categories for whatever interests you  for example, "my style" or "dinner ideas" or however you want to title your boards. 

As a caregiver I was using (and still use) Pinterest to find slow cooker, snack and freezer recipes, fangirl stuff (I love Doctor Who!), inspirational quotes, organizational tips, homemade cleaning and beauty products and ideas on fashion as I couldn't get out to buy new clothes. I was doing this because I was running out of ideas on what to cook for my husband and I and I was also beginning to suffer from caregiver burnout (although I didn't know it).

I was getting so fatigued that I started on Pinterest by looking to make mealtimes easier for me. I liked the fact that in the food and drink category you can find foods that are vegetarian, gluten free, paleo diet, "skinny" foods, slow cooker recipes, snack ideas, freezer meals and more. I'm all for making my life easier, especially when I'm tired and don't want to think about cooking, which is why I like all the slow cooker recipes and  freezer meal ideas such as the recipe I tweaked for slow cooker "roast" chicken. In fact, I still look in this category for meal ideas when I have no idea what to eat.

I continued to browse and found ideas on how to organize the fridge so that my husband could easily find something to eat when I wasn't there or I was asleep. I also found ideas that helped me tidy and decorate so that the husband was comfortable and our home looked nice (well, most of the time). The Women's fashion category helped me figure out what I had in my closet and how to organize it so I could find nice outfits to wear. Looking at the quotes kept me inspired so I could keep on going.

All in all I've found Pinterest to be a great inspirational site and very useful but I must say very addictive to me.

How do you use Pinterest as a caregiver?

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Image: Pinterest

After the Caregiving is Over (It Ain't Over Yet)

Since my husband passed away, I've been going through some trials and tribulations. I've been having to look for work and in this economy this is really tough. Finding work in my field is tricky enough as is. I've also been having fun with the bank, worried about losing my home, having appliances break down around me, working as executrix for the husband  and trying to get onto welfare so I can survive until I get that elusive job.(This is why I've not been posting). Of course there is more going on but I'm doing all of this while I am still grieving. I will admit that I am starting to feel a bit better. Finally, I am able to keep a thought in my head longer that 5 minutes (not that I was any better before but it feels like it). My home is still a disaster area but now I have an idea of what a pile of papers has and what in it.

I just want to give you some of my opinions, in no particular order, as to how to help yourself after your loved one passes away (hopefully not for a long time).

1. If needed, you can always ask your pharmacy and your cable/phone/cell/satellite provider for copies of your past bills etc. on paper by snail mail. It may cost you some money on your next bill but then you have them, usually in order, and everything. Also always good for tax season.
2. Always ask for an expert opinion on anything you think is valuable. Also ask for more than one opinion. Shop around. The first price you're given may not be the best price you'd get. For example, I have an Inuit sculpture that weighs about 40 lb that my husband won as the first Canadian to win in the British TV game show Mastermind. I went to an auction house and they informed me that it could reach $700 CA at auction.(This is my first price) Now I'm not gonna sell, but just that one price tells me what it could be worth. If I ever decide to sell, I'm going to try to find a dealer who knows what it is truly worth and give me a decent price (I'm not going to sell).
3. Take time for your self. In my opinion this is the most important one. You have been caregiving for a while and after the caregiving is over you have to figure out who you are! You have been wrapped up in medications, nursing, etc., etc., etc..I talked to a lady who was the receptionist at my local welfare office and even one year later after her husband's death (which was sudden) she still has problems with "widow's brain"! You have been taking care of others and you're gonna feel lost (I know). Take the time you need, get help you need, be as tough as you are and pamper yourself! (a friend is taking me to the movies....I haven't been to the movies for almost 18 years!) Enjoy yourself and possibly find a group that understands and goes for coffee or whatever ( I'll admit that I haven't gone yet)  but an excellent site is meetup.com they have all sorts of meetings all around the world.
4. Help is out there. Whether it be family, friends, an accountant, lawyer, minister, chat group, website, family doctor or psychiatrist there is always someone to help. 
5. Try not to use alcohol too much. This may sound like a no-brainer but sometimes it feels good to get drunk after a death (I'm of Irish descent and like a good wake and also for me it's too easy). The problem is not so much that you are drinking, it's how it affects what and how you are doing. If you're drinking and can't get up in the morning, take a look at yourself and ask yourself why you drank that much the night before...I'd bet it's about the pain in your heart and that you wanted to forget and sleep because otherwise you couldn't.(been there, done that, doesn't work).
6. Ask, ask, ask. This is my second most important point.(mind you, it could be the most important also see number one) If you never ask you never know. Today I've been worried about my mortgage and condo fees. I called my mortgage broker and talked to the condo office and they were very accommodating. Once I get the money to pay them I have to let them know but, if I had not, then I could have been facing lot of trouble and extra fees of up to $300 CA. The trick is if you know a bill/automatic withdrawal/prepaid is coming up, give them a call and at least 1 business week beforehand (5 days, no weekends) to help you.

Hoped this helped,

Jerith

Medify: A Cool Website for Research

As caregivers, researching about our loved ones conditions can be time consuming and confusing and I'm all for trying to make life simpler. 

I was thinking about writing about the benefits of aromatherapy and dementia when I discovered the website Medify. Medify basically looks at millions of research articles and arranges them in an easy to understand overview that can help you to put it to work. As they say:

"Our goal is simple: to help you and your family more easily navigate, stay current, and manage the often complex process of finding answers, while empowering you to get help from those you trust most."

 As I just discovered the website, I'm still learning about it but so far it's easy to use and you don't have to join to do the research. Joining the site ( for free) will allow you to save your research and create a private online support community that you can invite friends to, share your links, updates and other info and request help from others in your community. I also like the fact that that the information is "100% vetted by medical researchers" and that they comply with the HONcode  standard for trustworthy health information.

The site is in Beta so some diseases are harder to find and there are some errors in their terms (I looked at a study for spina bifida on speech training with computers and the acronym in the study was LSD (letter-sound) but Medify had it under LSD as in the drug) but there is still information there on related conditions that can be a good starting place for further research.

All in all this is a good site and I'd recommend it for those who are new to research as a starting point.

10 Things I Hate to Hear as a Caregiver

I know I've done it, I've said these things to other caregivers. I even say these things to myself sometimes. These are 10 things I hate to hear as a caregiver:

10. "I don't know how you do it." (Neither do I)
9. "Why don't you get out more?" (Because I can't)
8. "Take care of yourself." (Duh)
7. "I know how you feel." (Realy? You must be that empath from Star Trek)
6. "You have nothing to feel guilty about." ( I have my own reasons)
5. "Why aren't you working?" (See number 4)
4. "Why are you so tired?" (Because I'm chief cook and bottle washer as well as nurse and   doctor and....)
3. "There's nothing that wrong with them." (Just because they look well doesn't mean they don't need care)
2. "I know someone with.....and they died." (Ugh.)
1. "You're an angel to care for them." (No I'm not. I'm doing it because I love them.)

What's the thing you most hate to hear as a caregiver?

In the Bedroom (Not What You Think)

I was looking around on Pinterest today when I came upon this blog on Basic Bedside Care. It's a great starting point for anyone who is caring for someone who is bedridden - I just want to add a few more pointers.

1) Most medical devices can be rented. This includes things like adjustable beds, commodes, walkers, hoyer lifts, lifting recliners and air mattresses to prevent pressure sores. Renting is a great alternative if you are only going to be needing the device for a short period such as just getting out of hospital after a brief stay from a fall.

2) Have a comfortable chair in the room with arms and a good backrest. This is for guests, you and your loved one for when they feel able to sit up.

3) Find that old TV dinner table. They are useful for keeping supplies handy, for eating meals at that chair you have, playing games, and as a place for those get well cards and flowers. 

4) Some supplies you might not think of to have in the bedroom:  baby wipes- great for quick washes of face and hands as well as bottoms, hand sanitizer, disinfecting wipes for commode seats, paper towel for spills, box of tissue, examination gloves, disposable masks for those guests who insist on coming over with a cold, a couple of bath towels for moving your loved one, under knees, backs and positioning to prevent pressure sores, and a plastic mug with a handle for water- it's lighter and won't break if it drops.

5) Keep the bedroom beautiful. This keeps it feeling like a home and more comfortable.

6) Talk to your health care workers about the positioning of medical devices such as commodes - where you'd like it and where it needs to be can be two different things.

7) A night light- This makes it easier to check on your loved one without having to turn on a light and disturbing their sleep also they can see where they are and where things are, like the commode or their water, thereby reducing the chance of falls and spills. 

8) A bed tray for eating and other activities like reading. They can be simple or as fancy as one that can hold a laptop or book while you are lying on your back.

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Source: theloveyourselfchallenge.tumblr.com via Meg on Pinterest

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Source: shareasimage.com via Misty on Pinterest

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Source: Uploaded by user via Jerith on Pinterest