Stress, the "Bear" Necessities

Stress. You hear the word bandied about nowadays and it seems "full of thunder, signifying nothing" but what does it mean to you as a caregiver (or anyone else for that matter)? Stress is an integral part of being alive and is simply the  body's reaction to something that elicits the reaction "fight-or-flight" such as something that threatens you physically (bears) or mentally (lottery win). It can be either "good" like a lottery win or "bad" such as a divorce.

Back when humans were still in  paleolithic times (so the theory goes) stress was useful to protect us from lions and tigers and bears (oh, my) as well as other marauding tribes. Adrenaline began to pump from the adrenal glands, a small pyramid shaped organ sitting right above the kidneys, causing the heart to beat faster, blood to move to the largest muscles in the body so we can run away like the wind (or beat up that bear), you breathe faster (more oxygen for running) and thought processes sped up so you could react to the situation much more quickly (which way do I run? What can I use to beat up that bear?).  If the bear (or lion or tiger or tribe) continued to chase you more energy was needed for running so the body releases this needed energy by breaking down sugars and fats, fatigue sets in and all you could think of is running. By this time the bear has probably given up and you would quickly return to normal but that tribe would most likely still be chasing you. Fear (read stress) would further deplete your energy, you'd experience confused thoughts, have insomnia, be unable to eat, thus not giving your body the energy it needs, and, as the novelists say, "they ran him into the ground" and "he died of fear". 

Nowadays, in the Western world, you're not as likely to come across lions or tigers or bears (oh my) or marauding tribes and the fight-or -flight response is considered (by some) a holdover from those paleolithic days. In today's world, weddings, death of a loved one, lottery wins (big ones I hope), loss of a job, divorce, financial problems, almost being hit by a car, anger, fear, joy, frustration and sometimes just the daily pressures of life, such as pressures at work or planning for a family holiday get together are just some of the modern day equivalents of that dratted bear and the body reacts in exactly the same way. Problems arise when you get no relief from that modern day bear that is chasing you and what causes you stress may not be stressful to another. Heart disease, ulcers, high blood pressure, headaches, insomnia, hair loss, difficulty controlling diabetes, depression, changes in weight are some of the signals that you are over stressed. Personally, when I am over stressed, I wake too early with nausea and sometimes vomiting, I get more headaches, my back and shoulders hurt much more, and am more prone to catching every bug that is going around (so far I've had 7 colds this year, one of which lasted 2 months). So, now that you know some of what stress can do to you, what can you do to stress?

• Be aware of what causes you to feel overwhelmed. This will help you figure out what your stress symptoms and triggers are (because every one is different) and what you may be able to do about it.
• Learn to say NO, but politely, it's only a two letter word. This one I always have trouble with. I want to help because I have compassion and a big heart (part of the reason I'm a caregiver) but sometimes enough is enough and if you take on too much you will burn out.
• Take care of yourself, if you don't, how can you care for others? This can include things as simple as reading a book with a cup of tea while listening to quiet music, going for coffee with a friend, taking time to exercise (yoga in the living room or stretching in the line at the supermarket) seeing your doctor, getting a massage, giving yourself an aromatherapy foot bath and trying to eat as healthy a diet as you can (even I sometimes resort to take-out and frozen dinners but slow cookers are a godsend)
• Delegate. Ask for help from friends, family, nurses, find a community group that has friendly visitors or a day care program (good for kids as well as adults). You don't have to do it all by yourself even though you feel like you should.
• Try to take it easy on yourself.  Also known as "don't sweat the small stuff". This is another tough one I've found for myself (I cant, should, would, must or "stinking" thinking) I have to remind myself that I'm not (completely) perfect and that whatever it is that is bugging me gets done eventually, it is good enough. 
• Keep to a schedule as best you can. About 3 years ago I was reading an article in one of my e-newsletters from  Real Age (http://www.realage.com/tips/the-best-time-to-shower-for-better-sleep ) about a scientific study in older adults how those who "stick to a routine when it comes to personal care tend to fall asleep faster and enjoy better sleep quality compared with folks who have erratic schedules" and (according to the article) "keeping on schedule with daily activities had a slightly bigger impact on improving sleep than did sticking to a routine with weekly activities -- probably because daily activities are often integrated into nightly bedtime routines." What this means is that keeping to a schedule helps you sleep better and thus keeps you healthier because sleep is when your body rests and repairs itself. Schedules also let you know what you have going and allow you to have some control over things like taking out the garbage or getting all your running around in one area of town done in one day. 

Sorry about such a long post but I wanted to set some groundwork as I'll be expanding on these ideas in greater detail. Remember that it is sometimes the small things that you can do for yourself that can make a difference for your stress and, as Lao-Tzu said in the Tao Te Ching,  "A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step".